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Bert
Bert was a member of Sesame Street, and Darth Elmo's right-hand puppet. He became the leader of Sesame Street following Elmo's suicide. He was the brother of Ernie, and the mother-in-law of Jolee Bindo. Bert vowed (while chugging a six pack) to kill Darth Bob. But he failed because Darth Bob killed the intoxicated Puppe Bert was second-in-command to the planet destruction team. He would molest his enemies along with Ernie. He led the organization on two separate occasions: one during Darth Elmo's kidnapping and another after his death. Romances , just outside the window.]] It has been rumored that he once had a homosexual affair with his own brother, Ernie. This is supported by the fact that images have been found showing parts of the incident. The images depicted Bert's pants around his legs and BECAUSE IT'S JUST TOO WRONG. Other images have since turned up. History Elmo recruited the mad pair of Ernie and Bert after seeing a rubber ducky ad on TV. Bert and Ernie at some point planned to kill their boss Darth Elmo, and take over the group. This failed as they began making out and Elmo caught them, filmed it and beat them bad. He then sent them to spy on various targets who opposed the Sesame Street reign. Bert made a big suit and attacked a city, while yelling about how he was a terroist. He jumped in a plane and tried to replicate something he saw, but was shot down before he could and arrested. In Jail, Bert formed a network of bounty hunters and assassins to work for Darth Elmo, which led to Sesame Street growing far stronger. He remained in Prison for a week, until Ernie led a prison break and freed him and his new followers. Bert sent an Assasin after Elmo, but it never reached him. Bert gave up trying to take the throne and settled as second in command. Later Days Bert and Ernie began a relationship and stole Rubber Duckys from toy stores, which Darth Elmo disproved of. He molested millions across the galaxy, until he heard the terrible news. Darth Elmo was dead, he had killed himself, and Cookie Monster had died as well. Bert took over the group, but more members began to die or were killed. Bert was a terrible leader and the Street fell in to Madness. Baby Bear was put down and Grover was publicly executed. Bert fled with Ernie and Dearth Nadir. Howver, in an attempt to kill people, Ernie was killed, and Bert became depressed. He tried to end his own life, but Nadir told him overwise, telling him they were the last of Sesame Street and must keep the memory of it and Darth Elmo alive. They went to create a new base on Tatooine using the Sesame Street Frigate, but Nadir got sucidial and they were attacked. Nadir tried to do a kamakazie and Bert fled the ship a second it was blown up, killing Nadir and making Bert the last living member of Sesame Street. He floated in space until he crashed onto tatooine. He drew depressed and got very high and drunk in Mos Eisley, staying for weeks. One day, Cornelius Evazan found him footage of Darth Bob telling Ernie to get himself killed. This made Bert mad, he went to find Darth Bob, while still drunk, but Bob found him first. Darth Bob cut Bert in half and hung him up over a Rancor pit with a bomb attached to his neck. Bert begged for mercy, but Bob left him. Bert then fell, ripped apart by the rancor, and his remains disintergrated by the bomb. Ouch. Powers and abilities Many of Bert's abilities involved flowers, due to him being a homersexual Sith. He could attack multiple opponents with a massive blossom shower, or cause roses to rain of them from above. He could also shield himself inside a flower, protecting him from most attacks. He also could regenerate his head in the event it was lost, as shown when Darth Elmo punished him. He was a very powerful Muppet. In fact, next to Darth Elmo, he was the most powerful member of Sesame Street. Personality Next to Darth Elmo, Bert was possibly the most evil being in the galaxy. He committed horrific crimes, from molesting innocent aliens to destroying planets. However, he was quite fond of Ernie, the only person he actually cared about other than himself. His death deeply saddened him. *A famous speech by Bert Category:Killing machines Category:Males Category:Puppets Category:Sesame Street members Category:Dead people